<![CDATA[Kopeability - Blog about it!]]>

<![CDATA[Kopeability - Blog about it!]]>Sun, 26 Apr 2020 10:15:18 -0300Weebly<![CDATA[CARpe diem - Coping Through Humour]]>Wed, 07 Dec 2016 19:05:58 GMThttps://kopeability.weebly.com/blog-about-it/carpe-diem-coping-through-humour

T’ was 8 years ago
that my husband and I
Shopped for my car
After my Focus had died

We hit the first dealership,
Saturn, it was
The Astra caught my eye
I liked it “just because”

“What questions do you have?”
My husband asked while scratching his head
“I need to know one thing” I offered
Does this baby come in red?”

“No, no” he said clearly
“We have to analyze
All the stats and the numbers
It could be a lemon in disguise!”

He took me to Moncton, Fredericton
And everywhere in between
Months went by
And every car, I had seen

“Which one do you want?
Which one beats the rest?”
“I want the little red Astra!
It still suits me best.”

I returned to the question
I had asked at the beginning
“Does this baby come in red?”
No more cars for my testing!

And so, I won out
The little Astra was mine
A better car for 8 years
You never could find

Over a quarter of a million
Kilometres she drove
Through snow, sleet and sunshine
My Astra never dove

But then in this last year
The car started to falter
The rear wiper stopped working
The window wouldn’t bother

The lock stopped popping
The kids squished on one side
The light stopping lighting
The radio began to die

And then last Friday
As I was bombing along
The hood started lifting
Something weird had gone wrong

The strut had broken loose
And was driving up the hood
I screamed out in alarm
“This cannot be good!”

Perhaps I was seeing
Something that wasn’t there
I yelled at Ben to confirm
Was the hood really there?

“Yes, Mom, your car is crap”
He said matter of fact-ly
“It is time to say goodbye”
The car was fried badly

Now to tell my husband
It was time to go buy
A new car for me
Before much time goes by

I warned him this time
I will not go all over hell
I can handle it this time
My efforts would tell

He hesitated knowing
That my style of shopping
Is unorthodox and specific
Showing no signs of stopping

You see, the last time
I bought a computer just for me
I came home with a laptop
So pretty and green

“How much RAM?”
“What processor?”
“How big is the screen?”
“What software was installed?”
“Where has it been?”

I shrugged with a smile
And offered “damned if I know”
He blinked his eyes audibly
His mind about to blow

“What did you ask the store
When you bought this new thing?”
I offered, grinning widely,
“Does this baby come in green?”

As I scoured the internet
Over the weekend
My husband stood back
Trying not to see the end

He feared I would buy
A car based on colour
And offered suggestions
If I was willing to bother

“How about all wheel drive?
What about warrantee?
How many miles, kilometres
Or storage will there be?”

He was doing his best
Not to drive me crazy
He wasn’t a pest
And he sure wasn’t lazy

But I refused to allow him
To join me for a test drive
I was bound and determined
That I run my “car life”

I found a sweet ride
With 7 passenger seating,
Warmed up front spots
and steering wheel heating

I called him and screamed
With all kinds of delight
“I have found the car I want!
I think it is right!”

I could tell he was bracing
To question me just right
“What did you ask the dealership” he posed
I said … “DOES THIS BABY COME IN WHITE?”

"CARpe diem"
Maggie

No single coping strategy will take all the pain away
Try anyway

]]><![CDATA[Major Life Change with Rev. Dr. Elizabeth Stevenson]]>Fri, 04 Nov 2016 16:59:31 GMThttps://kopeability.weebly.com/blog-about-it/major-life-change-with-rev-dr-elizabeth-stevenson

Several years ago my husband and I were invited by friends to attend the local church. My husband and I had just had our second baby, Eric, and we were thinking about baptism. The thought of going to church made me recall a conversation I had with my maternal grandfather shortly before he died.

I was visiting my grandfather in the Saint John Regional Hospital as he recovered from congestive heart failure. My grandfather and I were talking about big life events. I was single with no children at the time. Mind you, I was not in a hurry for either status change since I was in my 20s. He asked me “If you get married, do you plan to get married in a church?” I nonchalantly responded with “well, of course” while blistering from his use of the word “if”. He followed up by saying “And, if you have children, will you have them baptized in a church?” Cringing at the second “if” deployment, I retorted “absolutely!” Unrelenting, he posed “do you regularly go to church now?” “Well, not exactly,” being honest.

He closed the conversation with a zinger: “So, you will take from the church when you get married. You will take from the church for the sake of your children. What are you giving to the church in return?” I sheepishly promised to be more than a C&E Christian, i.e., go to church more often than Christmas and Easter.

I recalled this conversation and my promise for many years and, yet, did not attend church regularly. I did not keep my promise. I simply had not found a place to call home in a church sense. Some ministers would yell from the pulpit with black robe wings flying as arms were raised to the heavens to make an exclamatory point. Some ministers spoke only of sin and how we had best walk the line, lest we find ourselves gnashing teeth surrounded by fire and brimstone. Others were flat out boring.

Despite the minister-factor, perhaps the choir could save the service and lure me into faithful promissory compliance. That is, I love to listen to choir music. I hate singing myself but will listen all day long. I confess that sometimes I mouth the words during hymns without making a sound. Sometimes I flat out don’t open the hymn book so I can focus on listening. Sometimes I mumble the words. Very, very rarely will I actually sing myself. I sang at my mother’s funeral will all my pulmonary might but, truly, that was an exceptional service.
I look to the choir for inspiration. Some choirs are simply not into the music. They don’t sway or put their emotions and voice to the meaning of the song. I know I should be appreciative that someone other than me is singing, but if the choir is not inspired, I am not inspired.

So, when our friends suggested that we try Westfield United Church in Grand Bay-Westfield, New Brunswick, I was willing, but skeptical. I had heard the minister was wonderful, but could this minister coach me to connect with God? I had heard the choir was good, but was that just people being nice?

I had other questions that raised my skepticism about this church. I am not opposed to divorce. Will that be a problem? I think that if you can find someone you love and respect, and that person loves and respects you, you should be together regardless of race or gender. Will that be a problem? I fully embrace science and see the beauty in the mysteries that unfold under the diligent and observant eyes of scientists. Will that be a problem?

In walked Rev. Dr. Elizabeth Stevenson (“Elizabeth”). A woman minister! This was an excellent start. Elizabeth is responsible for Westfield United Church as well as Long Reach United Church and Summerville-Bayswater United Church. Collectively, they call themselves Two Rivers Pastoral Charge. Elizabeth has, without a doubt, changed my relationship with the church. Elizabeth’s approach has been to establish a gradual and gentle invitation to participate. Indeed, I have said ‘no’ to many tasks, but I have also said ‘yes’ to many more.

I must give a nod to the choir. They are not good, they are exceptional. They hail from a small community, and yet their talents rival larger choirs. The members are devoted to the music and it is plain to hear with every palpable note they exhale. The choir director evidently brings out the best in the choir. I have to assume that Elizabeth brings out the best in the choir director and the choir members themselves.

So, what does this have to do with a major career change? My relationship with the church may never have happened if Elizabeth had not made a crucial pivot in her career many years ago. I know she was not thinking of me at the time she did it, she did not even know me. But, without her placement at Westfield United Church beside the amazing choir, I may not have kept my promise to my grandfather. Or, if I had, it would have been significantly less enjoyable to fulfill.

Sometimes, we think of a career change as only affecting ourselves. It is hard to envision the positive ripple effects decades down the line. And yet, here we are. I told you how I ended up at Westfield United Church. Now, let’s find out how Elizabeth ended up in the midst. And, see for yourself how she approaches life’s big issues like divorce, acceptance and science.

Kopeability: Once upon a time, your career was in the field of science. What was your work like then and how long were you in that field?
Answer: I worked in the field of science for 25 years. I began as a medical laboratory technologist working in a hospital medical laboratory in Charlottetown, PEI. Technologists did everything from drawing blood from patients to doing the various tests at the lab bench. Gradually my work became specialized in chemistry.

When my three children were young, I left paid work for three years and became a full time mother. After this brief stay at home, I returned to paid work - part time (3/5) in microbiology - for several years at the Veterinary Pathology Lab in Charlottetown.

I spent the last 10 years in the field of science working full time in a high tech chemistry lab as supervisor in toxicology at the Atlantic Veterinary College.

Kopeability: You are now an adored minister with the United Church of Canada, specifically Two Rivers Pastoral Charge. That was a major transition. What happened that initially pulled your thoughts in the direction of the church?
Answer: In ministry terms we speak of a “sense of call to ministry.” It is something difficult to articulate in a few words, except to say that it is a feeling that there is something I must do, say and be. There is a sense that the ‘something’ will cost my very life and at the same time offer life abundant.

In hindsight I don’t know of a time when I did not have thoughts/feelings of the Spirit being active in my life. The only language I knew came from within the church. Except for a few teenage years, I have always been involved in church. I like to imagine that seeds of this ‘sense of call’ were planted early in my life.

A major transition occurred when I went through a divorce. Once I rose for the ashes of divorce, I experienced all the energy that I had put into trying to fix something that was unfixable, being released for other things. I also evolved from that experience with a tremendous spirit of gratitude.

It is amazing - once you start looking at possibilities - opportunities abound. An opportunity came up to serve our partner church in the Philippines. I took a leave of absence and served in a Health Care program with the United Church of Christ based in Metro Manila, Philippines. This was a life changing experience - life changing physically, emotionally, spiritually, mentally.

I returned to work unsettled. I had a good job. I had security. I was well recognized in my field. I had many friends, a couple of kindred spirits. Yet the Spirit would not rest. It was a positive pull to contribute something - that I had ‘something to say’. All this was unfolding as other aspects of my life were unfolding - intimate experiences of the Spirit in worship, in conversations, in retreats.

I remember a particular university seminar course in psychology and spirituality. Everyone in the class spoke of a judgmental God and a punishing church. I remember thinking “That is not my church, that is not my God.” I had something to say.

Kopeability: What was your first step in actively pursuing a life as a minister?
Answer: Asking the question aloud to a trusted mentor. “Do you suppose I could be a minister?’

Kopeability: What appealed to you about the United Church of Canada (“UCC”), as opposed to other Christian denominations or other religions?
Answer: To be truthful I had no other experience. I was born into the United Church. That being said, the United Church offered a woman as a model and mentor.

From childhood experiences I was filled with a sense of justice. I was given the eyes to see and heart to include those on the margins of society. Perhaps, because I was often the one on the margins. The UCC’s sense of social justice filled my desire to make a difference for myself and others. The UCC offered - “Why do I do what I do?”

In the church I discovered two scriptures that form the foundation of my vocation:
-Micah “What does God require of us? To seek justice, love mercy and walk humbly with our God.”
-Luke: the greatest commandment - “Love God, love your neighbour, love yourself with heart and mind and soul.”

The rest is commentary.

Kopeability: Can you explain vocational discernment?
Answer: For me, it means “sifting with my head and deciding with my heart.” It is about having conversations that matter. To help explain vocational discernment I turn to thoughts of others:
-Parker Palmer speaks of “when your deepest heart desire meets the world’s deepest needs” that is where we are to be.
-“Intellect can be crazy making when not connected to the wisdom of the heart and the gut.”
-“If you have no anxiety, the risk you are about to take is probably not worthy of you. Only risks you have outgrown fail to frighten you.” (David Viscott)

Kopeability: Was there anyone in particular who counselled you as you turned your career and life in this direction?
Answer: My minister and mentor Elaine Smith. She modelled integrity and honesty in a way I had not experienced. She affirmed my sense of call.

Also the UCC has a wonderful discernment process called “Discerning the Call.” The process begins with 1 year of discernment meeting monthly with a group of church people, followed by annual interviews with both Presbytery and Conference to discern your ‘suitability and readiness’ for ministry. In total I had approximately 17 interviews between saying aloud “Could I be a minister?” to the laying on of hands at ordination.

Kopeability: There must have been challenging times during your transition. How did you cope?
Answer: Challenging yes! Terrifying yes! At the same time there was an incredible sense of adventure. Leaving my job and the security it offered was terrifying. What if it didn't work out? Putting my three children at financial risk left me with feelings of guilt. For the first time they had no health coverage - something I discovered is a great privilege. Leaving my community and friends was terrifying. Yet I never felt alone. I was in a place of privilege and status.

How did I cope? I cried. I prayed. I pleaded. I laughed. I read. I talked. From the experience in the Philippines I came to realize that I could live with very little; I was much more aware and able to separate needs from wants (most of the time).

Kopeability: If you met someone who was contemplating a similar change, what coping advice would you give that person?
Answer: Seek out wisdom in honest mentors who will speak their truth in love; listen to the story of others; be attentive to your thoughts; figure out the one thing you know and tell someone how you know that; pray - that is let your fears and dreams be known to some Power other than yourself; trust your gut; bow down in awe before the wonder of this world; be vulnerable; forgive.

Kopeability: How did your family and friends handle the news of your intentions?
Answer: I think going to the Philippines led the way to the realization that anything was possible.

I was surrounded by love, support and admiration that I was taking such a step. They were all very supportive and affirming. Quietly I heard whispers of ‘she’s going through a change of life.’

Also, going into ministry changes the dynamics around the table. You are now ‘set apart’, even as a student, both within church land and within my family and friends. I started receiving ‘religious' jokes, books, CDs. They stopped swearing at family gatherings. Stopped passing on sexual jokes. My God, do we think ministers don't have sex! My father suggested I not drink beer from a bottle. I remember him saying, “You’re a minister now… put that away.” Being set part can be lonely. It was and is for me… at times.
At the same time, it was all good.

Kopeability: If you met someone (partner, child, parent, etc…) who supports and loves a person contemplating this type of life change, what coping advice would you give that person?
Answer: Be honest. Speak the truth with love. If it hurts, say so. If you are afraid, say so. If you have doubts about whether you can do this, say so. Honour your needs as well as supporting the person you love. Don’t expect anyone to read minds. Find out the common points of interest in the new adventure.

Kopeability: Has your prior career made you a better minister?
Answer: I think my experience in understanding the wonder and the limitations of science is extremely helpful. I can embrace science and theology.

For those who worship science - I like to remind us that science constantly reveals what is before our eyes all the time. I am intrigued and like to think I understand a wee bit about quantum spirituality… at least on my good days.

My work in a human hospital situation helps me translate medical terminology and treatment plans for some members of our congregations.

My work in basic research offers a wee bit of insight into the workings of the human brain at the cellular level - certainly when trying to make sense of the teenage brain.

In addition, the biggest gift my life experience brings to ministry is that of growing up on a farm, being a mother of three, loving an addict and living through the death of divorce.

Kopeability: You are now moving in the direction of retirement. How are you coping with the current process of transitioning from active ministry to retirement?
Answer: Retirement seems surreal. I do not like the word. Part of me is in denial… other parts are doing the necessary work - like planning to move out of the manse, tossing books I don't want anyone to read. (Bad theology)

Then reality strikes. For example - it is ministry as usual… we are planning for Advent. Just when I think I have put that transition in its proper place, I woke up in the middle of the night thinking about my annual Christmas letter. Then the realization that this will be my last Christmas letter struck my soul! I wept. Then I remembered the many people of our story who also had to take the next steps without knowing where those steps would lead.
I wrote the Christmas letter in the wee hours. But have not yet taken a look at what I wrote.

I believe I did the right thing in giving us all a one year notice. This frees me up to speak aloud about the transition, to hear what I think as I speak, to laugh and cry about it all… in public… and receive the love and support I so need.

Kopeability: My sincere thanks to Elizabeth in honestly sharing her life.

No single coping technique takes all the pain away.
Try anyway.
Maggie

]]><![CDATA[Happy birthday to me!]]>Wed, 21 Sep 2016 21:59:13 GMThttps://kopeability.weebly.com/blog-about-it/happy-birthday-to-me

Today is my birthday! I must say it has been great. Thinking back, I bawled my eyes out when I turned 30, convinced it would all be downhill from there. Turns out the best indeed was yet to come. Through all of the ups and downs I have had to cope with since 30, today turned out to be a nice time to reflect on how my efforts to learn coping skills and strategies have culminated in a great birthday.

It all starts with having a great partner. Maybe you have read about removing toxic people from your life and how they can bring you down. Thankfully, I don't have that problem when it comes to my husband. He supports me, loves me and brings out the best in me. I feel so lucky to have him. Although I am sure he would like to win an argument now and then but, hey, he is the one who married a lawyer!

Then there are my kids. My day started at 5am with my mop haired youngest boy crawling into bed with me. "Good morning and happy birthday" he whispered in my ear as he settled in for a cuddle. He bailed by 6am when my lanky oldest loped in for a similar sentiment of "I have a high regard for you and happy birthday." Cuddles ensued.

Even the dogs were in a festive mood today!

Good things continued as the day progressed. My father, who had been in the hospital, was allowed to come home today. Nice! The emails and notes rolled in as the day went on. I loved every one. Even the nurse who took my blood at the hospital wished me happy birthday.

My birthday is like New Year's Eve for me. In years past I would make lists of things I want to do over the next year. Weight to lose, cooking skills to learn. Books to read. Waterfalls to photograph.

Not this year. Romano's pizza for supper please! Check. Pound cake with butter cream frosting please! Check. Family walk around the walk with no complaining. Check. Mid-week movie that I only I get to choose please! Check. Hand made cards from my kids please! Check.

Nope, this year I will take whatever comes my way knowing that my best coping technique is to surround myself with loving awesome people. It doesn't cover all of life's roller coaster rides, but it sure helps!

I hope everyone has a happy birthday this year like mine.

No single coping technique will take all the pain away.
Try anyway.

Maggie

]]><![CDATA[Preparing Teenagers with Asperger's Syndrome and Autism for college and university]]>Fri, 26 Aug 2016 15:30:23 GMThttps://kopeability.weebly.com/blog-about-it/preparing-teenagers-with-aspergers-syndrome-and-autism-for-college-and-university

On August 25, 2016 at the New Brunswick Community College, Kevin Reinhardt (bio set out below) presented on best practices for transitioning teenagers on the autism spectrum from high school to post-secondary education. The audience was a combination of parents and educators, all with a vested interest in student success.

I gathered lots of great information that is easy to read and sensible for those on the spectrum and their caregivers. The materials; however, are valuable for all who are making the transition, i.e., usefulness is not limited to those on the spectrum. Take a look at the following (posted with permission):

For a side by side view on how post-secondary education compares with high school (structure, responsibilities, study habits, etc...) click here.
For a primer on self advocacy and communication guidance, click here.
For an outline of Five Factors for Improving Recall, click here.
For teaching strategies for faculty working with Asperger's Syndrome students, click here.
To help assess post secondary education readiness, click here.

Kevin Reinhart Biography:
Kevin Reinhardt is registered with the College of Psychologists of Ontario, with extensive experience in assessment, teaching, and supportive counseling of students and families who experience disabilities. Of his almost 40 years of experience and training in the field, he has spent the last 24 in post-secondary services. He has written and presented nationally and internationally to students, parents, educators, rehabilitation specialists, business, and government, on issues related to education and disability. He has been on the faculty of Georgian, Seneca and Cambrian Colleges where he has worked in teaching, counseling, psycho-educational/psycho-vocational assessment, research, and mentoring. Most recently, at Seneca College, he has had the opportunity to take a sabbatical year where the subject was an investigation into best practices in post-secondary education for students who experience ASD in Canada and the USA.

No single coping technique will take all the pain away.
Try anyway.

Maggie

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]]><![CDATA[Interview with Terry Thorne - Aneurysm Survivor]]>Tue, 16 Aug 2016 14:17:16 GMThttps://kopeability.weebly.com/blog-about-it/interview-with-terry-thorne

Terry wants her message of hope to help others. If you participated in last weekend's Marathon by the Sea in New Brunswick, she was your Honorary Race Marshall. She ACTIVELY lives despite being told her chances of survival were less than 1% 10 years ago. Actually, in the interview she says it was specifically 0.8%. Catch her laughing at that figure and you will laugh too.

The interview is a bit long but catch 5 minutes at a time if that is all you can do. Or, play it while you are making supper. Play it on your drive to and fro this weekend. It doesn't matter. Just soak in her obvious emotional strength. Maggie

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]]><![CDATA[Volunteering WITH KIDS]]>Thu, 21 Jul 2016 12:55:05 GMThttps://kopeability.weebly.com/blog-about-it/julypurposeful-parenting-month-volunteering

July is purposeful parenting month in the United States. The idea behind National Purposeful Parenting Month is to "build strong, positive, functional families with children of any age, recognizing the importance of meaningful relationships between parents and children." (source: Tutor Time Plymouth Michigan).

For our family, we easily get caught up in the hustle and bustle of weekly routines. Getting in quality time gets harder and harder. One fun thing we do with our kids that might align with this idea of purposeful parenting is volunteering.

"Studies have shown that volunteering helps people who donate their time feel more socially connected, thus warding off loneliness and depression." (source: Harvard Medical School, www.health.harvard.edu/blog/volunteering-may-be-good-for-body-and-mind-201306266428). I interpret this quote as saying that volunteering is actually a coping strategy for many mental health reasons and for positive social development in our children. So, we all know that volunteering is good for our health, but how to translate that into purposeful parenting?

Kids are not always welcome in volunteer settings. Plus, the volunteering has to be meaningful for the kids. For us, that meant helping a refugee family settle in our community and helping at a soup kitchen.

Refugee Family:
This picture is the result of our boys and their cousins shopping for a refugee family prior to their arrival in our country, Canada. On arrival our kids played with the new children: sliding, snow shoeing, egg painting, swimming, maple tree tapping and BBQs. The family is more socially independent now that they have settled, but we still meet up with them from time to time.

We are hopeful our boys are learning that so long as you are alive and healthy, "things" don't matter. Getting to know our new immigrants has shown us that it takes strength to flee all that is familiar for the sake of family safety. Best of all, if we are willing to share what we have, we all become better. Some days I think our kids get it, and some days it goes right over their heads. But, my husband and I are in it for the long game so we shall see.

Soup Kitchens:
Our other meaningful family volunteering is to help at a soup kitchen. Not all soup kitchens allow children but we found one that was happy to put our kids to work. We have only volunteered a few times but already the boys know their jobs. One likes to pour the drinks. My husband usually supervises because this can get messy. One likes to serve, but he can only carry one plate at a time. Luckily, the other adult volunteers are grateful for the help and happy to pick up the heavier plates.

The first night at the soup kitchen our boys didn't pay much attention to anything but their jobs. They were great with the patrons. We told them to think of the guests as customers at a paying restaurant and that it was their job to serve the patrons accordingly. That meant manners - manners - manners. They did a fabulous job. Then, when the meal was over our boys asked "so when do we get to eat?" Hmmm. not the discussion we were hoping for but we stuck with it and volunteered the next month in the hopes that it would eventually sink in.
The next month our boys began to notice that one person had no hand. Our boys also noticed that many looked and smelled like they hadn't bathed in a long time. The boys started to ask questions. The drive home was a good conversation but they still wanted to know if they could have some sort of treat, ignoring the fact that they had a full meal before we started. Still, it was progress.

The third month they got it. One of the guests was a pregnant woman. She was so skinny you would not know she was pregnant until she stood up. She had a cell phone with an ultrasound picture of her baby. She proudly showed all of us. The adults took the lead with oohing and aahing over the picture and treating her like she was a family member showing a photo. The boys took the hint and asked to see the picture too. The boys said things like "I wonder what colour eyes the baby will have? Will the baby have brown hair?" I was so proud of them.

On the drive home they asked even more questions. Where will she sleep? Where will the baby sleep? What if the soup kitchen is closed for some reason? The point wasn't to make the boys feel guilty about what they have or to feel pity for those who are struggling. Rather, that we all have a part to play and that part is to be delivered respectfully and with dignity. If they remember that more times than not, then they should grow up with a strong sense of compassion.

The concept of Purposeful Parenting Month as outlined at the top of this blog referred to meaningful relationships among parents and children. We are seeing that our relationship with our kids is more meaningful when we volunteer together. So, we definitely plan on continuing with our refugee family relationship and soup kitchen serving for what we hope to be long term benefits of purposeful parenting.

The boys want to form a "Change the world Club." They are currently arguing over who gets to be the president. The club may take a while...

No single coping technique will take all the pain away.
Try anyway.

Maggie

*2015Canada statistic was pulled from http://www.statcan.gc.ca
**2014United States statistic was pulled from http://www.worldhunger.org

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]]><![CDATA[what is sensory overload like?]]>Mon, 11 Jul 2016 19:51:23 GMThttps://kopeability.weebly.com/blog-about-it/have-you-ever-wondered-what-sensory-overload-might-be-like

Have you ever been to a water park on a hot Saturday when the park is filled with never ending groups of kids? They all seem to be screaming at the same time and at the top of their lungs? While seeing and listening to the chaos, you are periodically splashed in the face with random streams of water. You find yourself unable to figure out how to get out or what to do next? If this scenario overwhelmed you, then you know what it is like to endure sensory overload. Imagine coping through that suffering every day of your life.

Many think of sensory overload as a condition exclusive to autism. Indeed, while the autism rates are high and many with autism suffer from sensory overload, they are not the only ones. Those with ADHD are also affected. In addition, research has identified sensory processing disorder as a condition independent of autism and ADHD.

Click here for a great video by Miguel Jiron available for viewing on Vimeo. The website may not go through right away. If my link doesn't work perfectly, I encourage you to google "Miguel Jiron sensory overload Vimeo" to see the video. I promise it is well worth the effort.

No single coping technique will take all the pain away.
Try anyway.

Maggie

Sources:
*Neurolmage: Clinical 2013, Vol. 2:844-853: Julia P. Owen et., University of California "Abnormal white matter miscrostructure in children with sensory processing disorders;
**Centres for Disease Control and Prevention www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/autism/data.html
*** Centres for Disease Control and Prevention www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/adhd/data.html

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]]><![CDATA[Sometimes We CANNOT SEE THE FLOWERs FOR THE LEAVES. Is that necessarily a bad thing?]]>Thu, 07 Jul 2016 01:04:34 GMThttps://kopeability.weebly.com/blog-about-it/cannot-see-the-flower-for-the-leaves

Ever find yourself focused on the mystery of life's leaves? By that I mean, does the picture below bother you because the flowers are out of focus? Or, does it make perfect sense because the olive inspired, rain kissed leaves are clear to you?

Sometimes, life can be like this blue-flower-green-leaf picture. Many may be mesmerized by the beautiful blue flowers and stuck on why the blossoms are fuzzier than they need to be. Yet, some cannot take their eyes off the emerald leaves. Even if weed infested, they look perfectly focused.

Perhaps, to you, the leaves are the allure. The jade colour, nonconformist shapes, prickly parts and malleable parts. The skinny ones reach farther than expected. The wide ones support more than they should. The leaves are mystical and maybe you are mystified by people who want to admire the blooms.

Sometimes all that is needed is a new lens or paradigm shift to see what others see. Sometimes you just need a few extra moments to soak it all in, whatever "it" may be. And yet, in some circumstances this ability to see the leaves for the flowers is a coveted skill. We enviously adore scientists, engineers and academics for their rebellious observations. Their maverick abilities transcend the norm and set them up for profound success.

Unfortunately, for some, much of day-to-day life is less accommodating and infinitely less patient. Failure to comprehend what everyone else seems to perceive with ease, can slow you down and set you up for failure. Maybe your insistence on the glistening light on the leaves is of no importance to all around you. Your failure to conform to bud-bountiful arrangements is seen as a failure at life's social norms.

Resilience is touted as a life skill in which one can bounce back from failure. For some, the small failures of life can be devastating and bouncing back or "getting over it" is not an innate skill. For others, failure runs off like water on a duck's back. Failure should always be taken seriously; however, failure that brings about debilitating emotions needs to be supported through coping skills.

In my own experience (again...not being a medical professional) it can take ten or more different coping strategies to find one that works. KPI aims at facilitating and sharing discussions about various coping techniques, whether your needs are big or just appear to be big to you.

I hope to be able to post and share products as well as product and book reviews. I welcome your input and comment and hope you will contact us.

Ultimately, KPI is inspired by those who are labeled as weird, eccentric or odd simply because of an attraction to life's less obvious nuances. Less obvious nuances such as a careful examination of the gleaming foliage supporting a beautiful blue flower doesn't make one odd, it makes one awesome. Whether you are on this site to help your children, yourself or the elderly, we hope we can talk about taking the edge off life's ragged points.

No single coping technique will take all the pain away.
Try anyway.

Maggie

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